Hey there, young crooners and future stars! Are you ready to dive into the hilarious world of “Things Singers Never Say”? Buckle up, because we’re about to explore the zany side of vocalists that’ll make you laugh harder than when you try to hit those high notes in the shower.
The Unheard Wishes of a Singer
First things first, let’s talk about the things you’ll never hear from the lips of a singer in a recording studio. “Can you turn me down a bit?” said no singer ever. In the magical land of the recording studio, vocalists are more likely to spot a unicorn than ask for their volume to be lowered. It’s like asking a fish if it needs a bicycle – utterly bonkers!
Reverb? I Barely Know Her!
Now, let’s chat about reverb. It’s the fairy dust that makes every vocalist sound like they’re singing from the top of Mount Everest. But have you ever heard a singer say, “Less reverb, please. I want that dry, just-woke-up-and-sang-into-a-cardboard-box sound.” Me neither. It’s as likely as your grandma challenging you to a breakdance battle.
We all know singers cling to their water bottles like a koala to a eucalyptus tree. But imagine a singer declaring, “Take away all my water; I’m drowning in hydration here! Throw me a coffee and a jalapeño instead!” That’s as ridiculous as a cat barking at the mailman – pure nonsense!
The Solo Act Dilemma
And here’s the best one. A singer in the spotlight might as well be a king or queen, commanding the stage with the confidence of a lion. But the day you hear a singer say, “It’s not all about me, cut my part out; no one wants to hear that!” is the day pigs will fly, do a loop-de-loop, and land gracefully on a tiny stool.
Conclusion: Sarcasm Meets Education
While we’ve had our fun poking at the sillier side of singing, there’s a nugget of truth in all this tomfoolery. As a professional singer and music educator, I can tell you that these funny sayings actually teach us a lot about what singers do need: confidence, the right amount of reverb, proper hydration, and, yes, sometimes a little less of ourselves.
Interested in more musical musings or looking to expand your vocal prowess? Check out the links below for lessons, laughs, and a whole lot of learning: